


The Dying of the Light

by Andromakhe



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Empathy, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, failure - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 20:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5262866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromakhe/pseuds/Andromakhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after "The Pig and the Rhino." Leo must inform Splinter of Karai's impending "demise." Allusions to Leorai, but nothing explicit. Inspired by James Taylor's "You Can Close Your Eyes."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tempers and Terror

**Author's Note:**

> This is set right after "The Pig and the Rhino." 
> 
> I know Raph and Donnie don’t really get equal representation here, but it’s just kind of how this turned out. 
> 
> And the James Taylor song is really appropriate for Leorai, in my opinion. I imagine Leo singing it to Karai. I don’t know why, but I think of Leo as a singer.

April, Casey, and the Turtles were en route to their headquarters in the pizza parlor - dispirited, deflated, even somewhat frustrated. But no one felt more disappointed about Karai’s hopeless situation than Leonardo. His shoulders slumped; he avoided everyone’s eyes; he moved uncharacteristically slowly and didn’t utter a word. Once in a while, Leo would check that his teammates were all with him, but that was the extent of his leadership. Everyone noticed Leo’s lack of attentiveness and minimal effort, but no one had the heart to call him on it. Only nocturnal sounds like crickets chirping could be heard until Donnie came up beside Leo and touched his arm gently. Leo started slightly and stopped, the others following suit. Leo turned toward Donnie and met his gaze sadly, one eyebrow raised in question.

"I’m sorry, Leo," Donnie whispered. 

Leo blinked. "Pardon?" He was being genuine; he truly hadn’t heard Donnie.

Donnie cleared his throat and enunciated more, though he still spoke softly. "I said…I said I’m sorry. About the retromutagen not working. I was afraid it would be the case. I…I failed. So much wasted time and effort."

Leo glared. "So you’re saying helping Karai is wasted effort?"

"No," Donnie snapped, glaring back just as fiercely. "Why would I have done it at all if I thought it was a waste? I just meant…You know what? Forget it." Donnie started toward April, but Leo caught him by his upper arm. Donnie turned back around to face him, scowling.

Leo sighed and shook his head. "I…I’m sorry. You’re right. That was uncalled for. It’s not your fault, Donnie. I’m leader so it’s mine." He said the last sentence bitterly, mouth pressed in a firm line.

"What? Leo, don’t be ridiculous. It’s the Shredder’s fault the retromutagen didn’t work. He just had to experiment with an unpredictable substance in order to remove our higher intelligence. It’s a good thing that experimental mutagen didn’t work quite right in the sense that Karai isn’t fully gone. But I know that’s little comfort given what we know will happen."

Leo squeezed Donnie’s arm painfully and released him, eyes narrowing dangerously. "So you’ve given up on her. I’m disappointed in you."

Donnie winced, rubbing his arm and stepping away nervously. "It’s just I don’t see any way to stabilize Karai without some of the exact mutagen she fell into, and there’s no way to get that short of stealing it from the Shredder. And even I know that’s foolhardy. Heck, it might not even exist anymore, though any scientist worth their salt knows it’s bad practice to throw failures out."

"Would you call Stickboy a scientist?" Leo asked, smirking.

"Don’t insult me, Leo," Donnie muttered contemptuously, though Leo noted Donnie hadn’t actually answered the question.

"Do you think it likely that the partially successful mutagen experiment still exists?" Leo tried.

Donnie shrugged. "If I were him, I’d have kept a few vials either to make an antidote or simply as insurance. No idea what he did."

Leo nodded and resumed walking, the others falling into step behind him. The team noticed that he was more alert, more graceful and stealthy. But when they came within sight of their lair, Leo withdrew again and adopted the same morose posture as before. His step faltered at the door; he stepped aside as though to let the rest of the team enter first. But when April attempted to pass him, he extended an arm in her path and walked in first, making an effort to at least watch where he was going. As he feared, Splinter was waiting for them. He knelt before him fluidly, a habit so ingrained that even his inner turmoil couldn’t make him clumsy. The brothers knelt beside Leo, though Raph paused midway, scowling at the floor, before ultimately deciding to follow through. April and Casey looked at each other uncertainly before April nodded in Leo’s direction and waved a hand vaguely toward the interior of the lair. "Think I want to turn in," she added by way of explanation.

"Up to Sensei," Leo said curtly, almost rudely, though his fingers twisting together gave his agitation away.

April turned to Splinter, who nodded to both her and Casey before turning back to his sons. He waited until they’d left before sitting across from Leo.

"I am glad to see you all safely returned, my sons," he began formally. "Were you unable to find Karai? The last time, Leonardo, you told me you’d found her but had to let her go or risk the Shredder capturing her. But you said you were able to reach her mind and she told you where she planned to hide. Perhaps the Foot clan thwarted you and you could not search properly?"

Leo stopped wringing his hands and went absolutely still, dead eyes unfocused, hunched over with his forearms resting on his thighs. He straightened up, lifted his eyes to his Sensei’s face, and swallowed hard. "We ran into Bebop and Rocksteady, a mutant pig and rhinoceros. I guess they count as the Foot. Mikey and I found Karai, too. She…wasn’t herself. When I identified myself, she regained awareness of who she was, but she’s losing her ability to remember." Leo turned and glanced at Donnie before facing Splinter again. "It’s likely that one day, even I won’t be able to reach her. I’m sorry, Father." Leo bowed his head in grief.

"No!" Splinter snapped. "That cannot be. April helped me; maybe Miwa can be saved with her help. I cannot lose my daughter a second time. Why did you not bring her home if you could speak to her?" Splintered narrowed his eyes at Leo, who shrank back unconsciously.

"I, um…She…" Leo licked his lips and straightened up. "She can’t be helped that way. The mutagen…It wasn’t the standard variety that mutated us. Donnie thinks it was experimental, something designed to strip us of our identities and higher thought processes. The thing is, it’s working. Just slower than it was supposed to."

It was Splinter’s turn to freeze. "Yo-you mean," he whispered, "she’s dying? Miwa is becoming a mutant with no humanity?"

Leo shivered as though cold, folding his arms over his chest and staring at the floor. He blinked rapidly, taking a harsh breath before jumping to his feet and running outside without a backward glance. His brothers stared after him, shocked. Never before had they seen Leo run from Splinter.

Splinter, however, was not shocked. His ears drooped and his tail twitched quickly. "I will go after him." He spoke firmly. "Leonardo should not be alone at this moment."

Mikey raised his hand, frowning.

"Michelangelo?" Splinter queried sternly.

"Sensei, I agree Leo shouldn’t be by himself, but maybe I should stay with him. I don’t think you’re gonna be much help this time. In fact, you might make things worse."

"Michelangelo, it is my fault Leonardo is distressed. Therefore, I should fix it." Splinter was matter-of-fact, certain.

"Dad, you gotta trust me," Mikey pleaded with his best charming wheedle. "We all love Leo. Yeah, even you, Raph. But it’s me he needs now. Maybe you come and guard us, but stay out of sight? Your good rat hearing can listen to us. Deal?"

"Deal." They shook on it and Mikey streaked off in search of his brother, Splinter following behind at a respectful distance.


	2. Tactics and Tenderness

Leo sprinted on the ground and let instinct take over. He jumped down a manhole onto a ladder and scaled it as quickly as possible, remembering to replace the cover beforehand. He jogged through the familiar tunnels and skidded to a stop at their old lair. He did not go in, however. It was no longer his home. He stood just outside, catching his breath, and walked briskly down a dead-end tunnel, his shell to the wall as he sat on the dry ground. Pulling out his T-phone, he put his earbuds against his head and found a particular song, beginning to sing quietly. In the silent tunnel, the acoustics were pretty good and gave his voice a natural amplification.

"Well the sun is surely sinkin’ down,  
But the moon is slowly risin’.  
So this old world must still be spinnin’ around.  
And I still love you."

He could go no further as tears stole his voice. He covered his face with his hands, the song still playing, as his shoulders shook violently.

Mikey and Splinter saw Leo clearly at the other end of the tunnel. They looked at each other with identical sympathetic expressions.

"I know that song, Michelangelo," Splinter murmured close to his ear. "I…had not considered just how deeply losing Karai would hurt Leonardo. But if he feels for her as that song suggests, I am truly sorry indeed."

"I dunno that song," Mikey whispered back. "But you know how determined he’s always been to rescue Karai. If you see them together now, they care about each other. A lot. She knows his name, even when she can’t remember her own." Mikey nodded firmly.

Splinter nodded slowly and crept quietly away, ensuring he could not be seen as Mikey approached Leo directly and tapped him on the shoulder. By this point, Leo’s weeping had subsided substantially, but any vestiges of sorrow were now lost to fear. With a ring of metal, one katana was unsheathed swiftly and held horizontally, though its blade pointed to Leo’s left side. Mikey jumped back, yelling in alarm. Leo dropped his sword between them, eyes widening in surprise before stepping over it and pulling Mikey close with an arm around his shoulders. "Sorry," he whispered hoarsely. He released Mikey and sheathed his sword, sitting back down again in his original position against the wall with his legs folded on the ground in front of him. He took his earbuds off and stopped his music as Mikey sat across from him, touching Leo’s thigh gently as he noted Leo’s damp eyes.

"Maybe I should have made more noise," Mikey chuckled ruefully.

Leo responded with a dim smile. "Or I should be less paranoid."

"Nah," Mikey grinned. "We’re trained to be paranoid. Ninjas."

Mikey was rewarded with one of Leo’s quiet chuckles, though it still sounded a little teary.

"Dude, um…" Mikey hesitated. "You look like you’ve been crying. And I can hear it in your voice. You wanna talk about it?"

Leo turned his phone over and over in his hands, disconnecting his earbuds and finally stashing both in his belt before meeting Mikey’s eyes and resting a hand on top of the lighter colored one that lay on his leg. "Karai’s dying, Mikey. And there’s nothing I can do about it. And Sensei…I know how important she is to him. I’ve failed us, failed the entire family." His voice had dropped to a pained murmur by the end of his confession, but Mikey still heard him.

"No." Mikey shook his head emphatically. "You know this is all Shredder’s fault. That mutagen was meant for you. You know Shredder has a special grudge against you. Maybe he thinks losing you would hurt Sensei the most. It’s not your fault he didn’t think about Karai’s safety."

"It doesn’t matter, Mikey," Leo sighed dully. "The only way we have any chance of saving her is to get the exact mutagen that transformed her and destabilized her mind. Even if we could storm the Foot headquarters and get mutagen, there’s no guarantee we’d get the right one. It’s too risky for me to really consider the idea. Sensei’s already mad at me for failing Karai. He’d kill me if I got the rest of you injured. I wouldn’t be too happy about it, either."

Mikey stared at the floor, at a loss. What could he say to that? But he couldn’t give up. Luckily, he was saved from responding by Splinter, who appeared beside him and sat on his haunches, laying a paw on top of Leo’s hand and patting it tenderly.

"Leonardo, you are correct. None of you are going to do something as reckless as breaking into the Shredder’s lair. I propose, instead, that we let the Shredder have Karai."

"What?!" Leo exploded. "No! What if he kills her, or makes the situation worse? I’m pretty sure Karai doesn’t want to deal with him again."

Splinter frowned warningly at Leo, but let the outburst pass without a reprimand. "If the Shredder kills Karai, I am certain it would be accidental. Not, of course, that it would make the situation better. But speaking as a parent who has raised four capable and resourceful sons from infancy, I have a difficult time believing that the Shredder wishes to make the situation worse. If he is the only way to cure Karai, we must take the chance that his goal is the same as ours. Even if it is merely to use her as bait again."

Mikey was zoning out. This was talk for the strategy people, and that didn’t include himself. Though he did catch the part about raising skilled sons and smiled at that.

Leo frowned thoughtfully. "You know, what you say makes a certain sense. But we can’t leave her with the Shredder indefinitely, and how are we going to know when he has her?"

Splinter stroked his chin. "I may be able to sense Miwa and the Shredder. I have deep bonds to both of them. My spirit would know them easily. I know April could also do this, but this is not a job for her. I know she does not like Miwa much, and that is understandable based on their history. Also, it might endanger her if the Shredder senses her. How long do you think it would take to make a medicine for Karai?"

Leo shrugged. "That’s a question for Donnie, but he said it took him weeks to make the retromutagen, which failed to work on Karai because of her unique mutation. I would guess a similar length of time to come up with a fix, but I don’t know if Karai has that long to wait. It’s been months already and she has to work pretty hard to form coherent sentences. But there was little to no change both times that I encountered her, so she may yet be able to hang on."

"Would it be possible to gather information covertly, without endangering yourselves? Perhaps plant a device on one of the Shredder’s mutants and hope they take it inside with them? Something very small and difficult to detect."

"Donnie did have the spy roaches. So it’s definitely possible to get something close to the Foot. Might even be possible for one of us, maybe me, to plant a listening device in their lair as a kind of backup. But I know that’s not preferred."

"Your idea is sound and probably better in terms of the quality of information we could get, but times are not so desperate. Let us stick with my plan. It is less efficient, but safer. And I do not wish for any of you, especially you boys, to be captured. The Shredder has no attachment to you."

"Hai, Sensei. I’ll talk to Donnie about logistics."

"We have a little time. Even if Karai were captured tonight, you surmise an antidote to her mutagen would take at least two or three weeks, correct?"

"Yes."

"So no sense attempting to track or spy on the Foot until then. In case Donatello has to invent something, he may be less stressed to know there is a small respite."

"Understood." Leo nodded and glanced down at Mikey, who was sprawled on his side with his head pillowed on one arm, apparently sleeping. Leo laughed softly, his smile sincere and bright.

Splinter chuckled warmly, looking from Leo’s easy confidence to Mikey’s relaxed vulnerability. He lifted a paw and caressed Leo’s cheek gently. "Karai is not gone, Leonardo. The way is unclear, uncertain. There is fear of failure. I understand, my son. I feel it, too. But if we do not try, we have already failed. We will not give up on her. Not until there is nothing left to save. We owe it to her and we care about her, as a sister, a daughter, a partner in combat and-" A meaningful pause. "-romance?" Splinter’s paw dropped to Leo’s shoulder and he squeezed it firmly in response to Leo’s faint blush. "Be safe and look after your brother. And when you get home, try to rest." He patted Leo’s shoulder and Mikey’s shell before dropping to all fours and loping away.

Leo shook Mikey awake gently. Mikey sat up and blinked at Leo a few times before glancing to where Splinter had been, beginning to chew his bottom lip worriedly. But Leo rubbed Mikey’s shell soothingly and got to his feet. "Sensei’s all right, Mikey. He went on ahead of us. Let’s go home." 

"Karai will be with us one day. She will. Just like how you and Sensei came back to us. You gotta believe." Mikey smiled up at Leo before standing as well.

Leo inclined his head. "I intend to do everything I can to make that happen. I believe in us. The team. The clan. We will do our best, and that will have to be enough, whatever may come." 

In an adjacent tunnel, Splinter paused, ears lifted and smiling. Leonardo was truly a strong leader, and Michelangelo had a beautiful spirit. He resumed his jog home feeling even more privileged to have been given another family, particularly one with such diverse talent.

Mikey began running through the tunnels, Leo on his heels. Climbing out of the sewers, the brothers leapt rooftops beside each other, reveling in their agility and power. When they arrived at their lair and were settled down to sleep, Splinter nuzzled each son’s cheek softly with his muzzle, whiskers tickling their skin. Mikey giggled happily at the sensation, peaceful and contented. Leo, though he did not smile, leaned into the touch and relaxed fully with a deep sigh. It was not a sound of weariness, relief, or even happiness. It was a sound of comfort, a sign that a great weight had been removed and that the pain it caused had been soothed.

Splinter took one last look around at April, Casey, and all four of his slumbering sons before curling on his side on some blankets, wrapping his tail around himself. His young leader, though much matured, still appreciated a father’s touch and a master’s protection. His young chef, though shortsighted, had boundless love for his family. He prayed Leonardo’s heart would never harden and that Michelangelo’s faith would never waver, before finally closing his eyes with a sense of proud accomplishment.


End file.
